Tag Archive: Horoscopes

Jan 29

Horoscopes for Friday, January 29, 2016

Horoscopes for Friday, January 29, 2016

 

Aquarius (1/20-2/18): You will have second thoughts about entering the 2016 Presidential Race after visiting the doctor and finding out that your head is actually NOT firmly inserted in your ass.

 

Pisces (2/19-3/20):

Dec 18

Star Wars Horoscopes for Friday, December 18, 2015

Star Wars Horoscopes for Friday, December 18, 2015

 

Sagittarius (11/22-12/21): No matter what you’ve heard, using a high midi-chlorian count as an excuse for unleashing intergalactic terror is not appropriate. Stop it.

 

Capricorn (12/22-1/19): Disappointment sets in when scientists prove …

Nov 06

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for Friday, November 6, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for Friday, November 6, 2015

Scorpio (10/23-11/21): The reality of life sets in. The change Twitter made, taking away “favorite” and adding “like,” will send you into a blind rage, resulting in a bloodbath usually reserved for …

Oct 23

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for October 23, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, October 23, 2015

 

Libra (9/23-10/22): If you are a dog lover, this will be the greatest day ever, as it will be filled with a puppies, love, and pure joy. If you are not a …

Oct 02

Horoscopes for Friday, October 2, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, October 2, 2015

  

Libra (9/23-10/22): Listen to your gut. Ulcers and acid reflux are no joke. Between 15,000 and 20,000 Americans die each year from ulcers, which is almost 10,000 times more than those who …

Sep 18

Horoscopes for Friday, September 18, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, September 18, 2015

 

Virgo (8/23-9/22): In a gaffe you will only make once in your life, you accidentally mistake vodka for water after your run today.

 

Libra (9/23-10/22): Being a lifelong Seahawk fan, frustrated at …

Aug 21

Horoscopes for August 21, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, August 21, 2015

  

Leo (7/23-8/22):  Today is a great day to re-evaluate your decision to quit your job and become a drug detection dog.  You are neither a dog nor do you have a sense …

Jul 31

Horoscopes for Friday, July 31, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, July 31, 2015

  

Leo (7/23-8/22):  Your cell phone destruction business, based in Boston, has seen a surprising and sudden boom this last year, finally allowing you to take that vacation you’ve so deserved.

 

Virgo (8/23-9/22):

Jul 17

Horoscopes for Friday, July 17, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, July 17, 2015

 

Cancer (6/22-7/22):  Your plan to fund Dez Bryant’s long-term deal out of your own pocket ultimately hits a snag when you realize you don’t have $100 million, you aren’t a Dallas Cowboys’ …

Jul 03

Horoscopes for Friday, July 3, 2015

Cha Cha’s Horoscopes for

Friday, July 3, 2015

Cancer (6/22-7/22):  The debate on whether or not ketchup should be used on a hot dog comes to a boil.  Somebody’s going to emergency, somebody’s going to jail.  Avoid all condiment-related arguments.…

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