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Mar 16

The Front Page and Other Shenanigans: Your weekly guide of what to look for, and what to look away from 03/16-03/22

March Madness tipped off on Tuesday, but the actual First Round starts on Thursday. Per usual, there is plenty of hype surrounding who was left on, and off, the bracket. This 2016 tournament includes the losingest group of teams ever, meaning no team has fewer than four losses, and only two teams have four. bing-predicts-which-ncaa-basketball-team-will-make-it-to-march-madnessWhile this won’t necessarily ‘even’ things out, there was some interesting seeding done, and Thursday/Friday’s opening round is sure to see some extraordinary games. Michigan State finished the regular season as the AP #2 team, but didn’t get a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament. Kansas finished as #1, with North Carolina and Virginia rounding out the Top 4 in the AP Top 25. One thing is for sure, more eyes are on possible Cinderella stories than the #1 seeds. George Mason, Florida Gulf Coast, Davidson, and VCU all have had legitimate runs over the last decade. This year, keep an eye out on Hawaii, Yale, and even Northern Iowa. Anyone can win it all, which is one thing that makes this championship so special. March Madness is definitely the featured event over the next four days, especially with the excitement of the first couple rounds.

Spring Training continues to shape squads, with only 19 days left until Opening Day. Friday will mark the final 2016 division preview, so make sure to go back and prepare yourself for the non-official/official beginning of spring. If Spring Training records meant anything, the Los Angeles Dodgers, Arizona Diamondbacks, Toronto Blue Jays, and Houston Astros would be primed for a helluva season… but they don’t. Instead, Spring Training is a chance for prospects to compete for a Major League spot, veterans to get themselves season-ready, and Bryce Harper to talk, a lot. The season officially begins on Sunday night, April 3.

The NBA regular season ends in less than a month, on April 13. Currently, San Antonio and Golden State have clinched their respective divisions, with no other team yet to lock up a playoff spot. The Cleveland Cavaliers still hold the #1 spot in the East, with Golden State 3.5 games up from San Antonio in the West. If the season ended today, Dallas would sneak in in the West, and Detroit would edge out Chicago for the last spot in the East. Steph Curry is still well on his way to being the scoring champ, still averaging over 30 points per game. It’s that weekend when NCAA trumps NBA, but if you do decide to watch, check out Thursday’s Portland at San Antonio. On Saturday, Houston is at Atlanta, Cleveland is at Miami, LA Clippers are at Memphis, and Golden State is at San Antonio. Sunday features Portland at Dallas.

The NHL regular season ends on April 9, with the Stanley Cup Playoffs set to begin April 13. As of this Front Page, no team has clinched a playoff spot. Currently, Washington holds the top spot in the Eastern Conference, while Dallas and St. Louis battle for the top of the Western Conference. On Thursday, Carolina is at Pittsburgh, NY Islanders are at Nashville, Tampa Bay is at Dallas, and NY Rangers are at Los Angeles. On Saturday, Detroit is at Florida, NY Islanders are at Dallas, St. Louis is at Vancouver, and Boston is at Los Angeles.

This week in theaters was overshadowed by the announcement that Harrison Ford will, once again, don the fedora and play Indiana Jones. Well, Harrison, thank you for taking a dump on my childhood… again. It’s probably best that the focus is on Ford and his silly earring, because there isn’t a lot hitting the theaters star-wars-7-harrison-ford-indiana-jones-5this week. The two wide releases are The Divergent Series: Allegiant – Part 1, and Miracles from Heaven. I’ve never seen any of The Divergent Series, nor have I read the books. I am aware that this is a very popular young adult series, so I’m just going to guess as to the plot of the movie. A young wizard boy woos an apathetic Pacific Northwestern girl with a lip-biting addiction to hunt children and save their district. Meanwhile, glittering vampires team with a thing called a “Slytherin” to bring down the mass corruption Donald Sutherland has brought upon the world. The movie will gross $1 Trillion on Opening Weekend, and everyone will be dumber for having had seen it. Miracles from Heaven stars Jennifer Garner and follows the story of a young girl suffering from a rare disorder, only to miraculously recover. For those enjoying movies with deep religious overtones, this may be your flick. For those just hoping to watch Jennifer Garner not talk about Ben Affleck for two hours, this may be your flick. Speaking of Affleck, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice opens next week.

St. Patrick’s Day is Thursday, and it will either be the best day or worst day, ever. Some subscribe to the “Amateur Night” philosophy, citing that people who don’t usually get drunk on weekdays don’t know what they are doing. To those people, I say you should probably rest your liver, since every other night is apparently “Functioning Alcoholic Night.” For me, it’s the one holiday everyone is Irish, and it is as fun as you make it. For better or worse, here are nine ‘alleged’ contributions the Irish gave the world: Flavored potato chips, soda water, the submarine, the modern tractor, the tank, color photography, chemistry, a wealth of literature, and Guinness. We can almost forgive them for U2. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!

Sláinte! Cha Cha

 

About the author

Chad

Chad has a Bachelor's Degree from Marquette University in Broadcast Journalism & Electronic Communications. Currently living in Seattle, WA, he takes every opportunity he can to go to a game, partake in the nightlife, laugh with friends & family and root for the Nebraska Cornhuskers.